Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Life T.A.N.G.O.S.: The Dance of Life and the Reconciliation of Opposites




            How do we dance in this life of ours? We are reminded in popular parlance that life is not a dress rehearsal and we only get one chance (at least in this lifetime), and that chance is now!

Carpe Diem! Live in the present moment and live with awareness. Starting there, I ask again, how do you dance with what each moment offers you? Do you focus strongly on your desires and needs to ensure they are met and satisfied? Are you closer to the other extreme, focusing predominantly on the needs and desires of others and letting your own slip quietly under the carpet? Do you swing from one extreme to another, or have you learned the art of tacking (a sailing term for facing into the wind and moving from one side to another to allow your vessel to move forward)?

As we advance in life with accrued awareness, wisdom and (hopefully) patience, thanks to gifts and practices of psychosynthesis or other personal and spiritual paths of awakening, we become skillful at centering ourselves, returning to a position of ‘I’ –what Roberto Assagioli defined as a ‘center of pure self-awareness and will’. We step more easily into the role of the orchestra conductor, to acknowledge every orchestra player in our extended inner families (subpersonalities), and their way of moving with or against the world of polarities in which we live.

Through awareness we experience the irreconcilable opposites of our world where ‘both/and’ exists, not ‘either/or’. We realize much of what we flee or run towards, is part of an interrelated pair in need of both poles, like the inhale and exhale of our every breath, the vital force or “prana” as breath is called in Sanskrit. Instead of being caught in pendulum swings, we start to explore the ‘dance’ with irreconcilable opposites, such as a need for both solitude and community, desires to control, initiate and take action as well as stepping back, trusting and following. We learn that both effort and rest are necessary for well-being and fulfillment.

As part of this experiential awakening we become conscious that through projection we ultimately only ever push against our selves, or seek what we believe is outside us in the world, qualities such as acceptance, love, joy and peace. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American 19th C poet who in later life spent years translating Dante’s Divine Comedy wrote, “not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.”

If you realized that every judgment you make against another person is an unconscious fear to acknowledge the knife of judging retribution you hold above your own head, would you be so quick to anger and harsh words…or thoughts?  What if you realized that self-acceptance is the realization you are what you seek, but have lost contact with that part of yourself?

Victor Frankl, author of Man’s search for Meaning, said: “my definition of success is total self -acceptance.” “Acceptare” in latin means to receive willingly. How willing are we to receive the lessons life sends us (through situations and relationships) to release anger, judgment and the need for outside approval? Freedom lies not in controlling events but in the choice and decision we make in how we dance with life. We can choose to confront, oppose, hate and argue with, or surrender, trust and open to lessons hidden in the flow of our experience. This does not mean we lie down to be walked upon, but it does mean learning to release judgment and criticism in favor of tuning to higher emotional frequencies such as kindness, allowing, compassion, and forgiveness.

As A Course in Miracles suggests, if Higher Self (ultimate Teacher and Guide), were standing beside a door to which forgiveness were the key, and to experience peace and freedom in your life all you needed were to give the key to Self to use, would you do it? *

*Extrapolated from Supplements to A Course in Miracles, The Song of Prayer, Foundation for Inner Peace
                                                                                                           
Abigail DeSoto, M.A.  Life T.A.N.G.O.S. and the Dance of Life - Sept.12-15th

NB I am offering my unique polarities exploration, Life T.A.N.G.O.S workshop this September at Kayser Ridge Retreat Center in West Virginia with the help of Cliff Kayser, from Polarities Partnerships LLC. For more information on how to dance with life and allow TANGOS-‘Trust’, ‘Alignment & Allowing’, ‘Non-Judgment’, ‘Grounding’, ‘Openness’ and ‘Surrender’ to support you in your dance with life’s polarities , visit www.inner-discovery.com  or email: discovery.transformation@gmail.com

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