May we all let go and FLY in 2011!!!
Dancing with Butterflies
Today I danced with butterflies. Who am I to dance with butterflies??? Who am I not?
I was supposed to be teaching, but my class was cancelled last minute. The day was blowy and cold, but oh so bright…. a sharp, striking bright, that kept calling: “come out, come out.”
I had so much to do. Don’t we all? Don’t we always? But the voice persisted: “come out…just for a little…you won’t be long… WE won’t tell.” So I gave in, and went out into the clear, blinding brightness for a “just a breath of fresh air,” short walk.
I had been assailed again all morning by conflicting voices within, and felt the change would calm me, do me good. I did not go far, up to a quiet, open field I often go to when the owners of the big house are away. The grass was growing richly, dark green, that lush ‘fat’ grass you get in early Spring when all of nature is bursting out everywhere, celebrating life, warmth and new beginnings.
I felt called to a far corner of the field, away from the house, away from the wind, sunny, protected by pines. Here I sat, watching tall blades of green grass, and gave voice to the conflict within me that had been tormenting me for days.
As the different parts of myself spoke their truth, I began to feel calmer, more reassured and on target in life. I arose to sit a little further on sunny rocks in this safe, protected harbor, where the view was wider .As I looked out, I felt as if I were sitting on a small mountain looking at far off hills and forest, hearing the treetops above me dancing in the wind. French fighter planes came and went making a roaring, deafening sound as they rocketed across the sky. And then I noticed him…
Silently, without a sound, he darted and soared, in circles, loop de loops and lightning quick turns. Then he would glide, descend and alight in a second on a small twig, branch or other piece of vegetation. He opened his wings for me to see…magnificent sunny, yellow wings with contrasting black markings like fine ink drawings…he aired them gracefully, soundlessly, without moving, despite the breeze. He remained immobile like a confirmed ballet dancer, poised, arms abreast, in perfect balance. Then off he soared to dance with another butterfly of his same kind. They pirouetted, darted, circled in perfect timing, so fast they seemed to perform three or four loops for one in breath and the same for each exhalation. They remained in perfect union, then she was gone, and he was back, flitting close to the ground, slower, and then poised again to rest before his next act of outstanding “bravoure” and impeccable aviation.
As I watched, I realized this butterfly was not uncertain of his new wings or abilities. Though butterflies, when initially out of a chrysalis can appear hesitant and uncertain, with wet wings that must dry before flying, this ‘gentleman’ had certainly come into his own power and abilities. Perfect flight! I looked up to see the rigid, noisy flight of the fastest planes in the French army, and felt, despite their power, speed, and ability to destroy, my colourful, quiet little friend certainly had something over them in grace, silence, beauty, agility, and…ability to tune in and synchronize with another being faster than a gasp.
I continued to watch his dance…his lightness, agility, seemingly untiring skill and joy. Repeatedly, the other butterfly arrived from nowhere and they would dance together in cosmic harmony and synchronicity, darting and circling so quickly that rapidly they were out of sight. Then suddenly they were back…then she was gone, and my solo butterfly would fly gently close by and alight on some miniscule perch, in perfect landing.
As I watched, fascinated, I became aware of his teaching…he was showing me, telling me something. Look he said how easy it is to let go, trust, and relax into your new self. “Fly! Go with the wind! Enjoy…trust, you will be supported”, he seemed to say. The more I let myself follow him and be taken into his words, the more I understood there is no need to struggle. The wind will carry me…life will support me when it is time. My answers will come.
He also seemed to teach me about love. As I admired his dexterity, agility and fearlessness, as well as his luminescent beauty, I could almost feel him beam with happiness. “I am noticed,” he seemed to say… “I am loved”. How we all need to be noticed…to be seen and appreciated. So often we forget that this is love, appreciating the other person, appreciating the little things. Even plants grow better when you appreciate them. And we ourselves grow better under our own appreciation in place of judgment and criticism.
My butterfly had alighted a bit closer to where I was sitting, and was proudly parading his open wings to take the sun, or perhaps absorbing the sun’s strength before his next feat of wild flying. In any event, I moved a bit closer to better see his wings, and noticed they were not only black and yellow, but had a small, blue, coin like stamp in the center towards his tail. He was striking…yet so small, fearless, and totally silent!
I had no idea how long I had been out on my “just a breath of fresh air” walk, but my stomach had been growling for quite a long time, reminding me I had not eaten lunch. I decided I must pull myself away from this daredevil flyer, and return home to duty and day. As I retreated as quietly as I could, my butterfly remained balanced on his small twig, gently moving in the breeze, wings magnificently spread to the sun, the day and his calling. As I moved away, I turned to look one more time at this tiny little creature that I have been told lives only one day. I could barely see his body on the branch, but yes…he was still there, and it’s like he called to me: “don’t forget to dance. Fly and enjoy!” Abigail DeSoto-April 12, 2010
