Have
you ever noticed the duality in life...day/night..light/dark…winter/summer…man/woman…fear/love?
If we open our eyes and look with
awareness, everything in our world seems to come (and go) by twos, a bit like
Noah’s Ark. There are ‘ups and downs’, ‘life and death’, ‘winning and losing’…until
we see this two-step dance of life as the dance and gift to awakening to Authentic Self, Awareness, Presence, Source…Love.
But, first let me back up to the dance itself, and explore the notion of relationship
as a door to awakening, the gift of ‘two to tango’.
Tango is a difficult dance…I know from
over ten years’ experience, but it is also a highly rewarding dance, allowing
creativity, true presence, listening, and opening to one’s partner with
curiosity and non-judgment. It requires trust, agreement, and importantly,
individual grounding, the ability to maintain one’s own axis. This sounds a lot
like requirements for a healthy relationship, one that allows space and freedom
to grow, while creating a unique third energy field of beauty, creativity and
innovation.
A
Course in Miracles,
(1) a 1200 page self- study, mind-training book, made up of three volumes, ‘Text’, ‘Workbook’ (of 365 lessons), and ‘A
Manual for Teachers’ is a relatively unique spiritual path in that it posits
relationship as the path to awakening. That we have fallen asleep to dream in a
world of illusion is a premise found in other spiritual traditions, but the
notion of joining with our brothers…true joining according to the Course, as the
bridge to lead us out of our dream and to awakened Self or authentic Reality,
that is a different take on the path to enlightenment.
Recently my life led me unexpectedly to
meet one such “brother”, someone I feel comfortable with, with whom I ‘resonate’
and share many commonalities. As my curiosity was piqued and I became more and
more interested in this person, I also became aware of old ego patterns of
posturing, seeking to please, seduce, impress, and judge… “Help… I thought I had outgrown those outdated ways of being… all my work in psychosynthesis, teaching,
coaching…my dedication to human growth and potential…” I was sure I was
free of the old, sticky habits of ego game playing. Welcome to the long-standing club of humanity!
So we had some ups and downs…. (Already? you ask....Yup….). These led to doubts (classic ego tactic) …probably not the
right person-“he’s too…. or ……” (judgments).
Before I realized it, ego mind was
talking me out of exploring relationship with this person I enjoy, have fun
with, and spend hours talking with… Lucky for me (and thanks also to this
person’s awakened consciousness), I started paying close attention to my ego’s
battalion of subpersonality recruits, and saw the long-standing patterns and
fears clearly rear their heads in the conditioned dance of ‘how best to get my
needs met in this relationship.’ I distinctly realized I was once again looking
at relationship with belief in gaping needs: “will you be there for me, in the way I want you to be?” (since as a child no one was, and it’s up to
you to fix my story). In other words, “will
you play the role in my dream that I am attributing to you because I think I know
the best way to get my needs met and besides, it’s my story…remember… all about
me?” instructs my ego. “Will you
sometimes be the leader, (when I’m too tired or can’t be bothered) and when I
want to dominate, (because I know better and I’m right) will you agree to play
the follower?”
“Perhaps you call it love. Perhaps you think it is
murder justified at last. You hate the one you gave the leader’s role when you
would have it, and you hate as well his not assuming it at times you want to
let the follower in you arise, and give away the role of leadership. And this
is what you made your brother for, and learned to think that this his purpose
is. Unless he serves it, he has not fulfilled the function that was given him
by you. And thus he merits death, because he has no purpose and no usefulness
to you.”
(ACIM text, chapter 31, II. Para 4)
(ACIM text, chapter 31, II. Para 4)
If we are honest, isn’t this a traditional
two step we unconsciously fall into in both our ‘love’ and ‘hate’
relationships? And…one in which there is a winner and a loser. What if there
were another way? Fortunately there is, but it requires a completely new
appreciation of who our “brother” is!
“This brother neither leads nor follows us, but
walks beside on the selfsame road. He is like us, as near or far away from what
we want as we will let him be. We make no gains he does not make with us, and
we fall back if he does not advance. Take not his hand in anger but in love,
for in his progress do you count your own. And we go separately along the way
unless you keep him safely by your side…
Forgive your brother all appearances, that are but
ancient lessons you have taught yourself about the sinfulness in you. Hear but
his call for mercy and release from all the fearful images he holds of what he
is and of what you must be. He is afraid to walk with you, and thinks perhaps a
bit behind, a bit ahead would be a safer place for him to be. Can you make progress
if you think the same, advancing only when he would step back, and falling back
when he would go ahead? For so do you forget the journey’s goal, which is
but to decide to walk with him, so neither leads nor follows. Thus it is a way you go together, not alone.
And in this choice is learning’s outcome
changed, for Christ has been reborn to both of you.”
(Author’s underline and emphasis)
(ACIM text, chapter 31, II para 6,lines 5-9; para 9, lines1-7)
(Author’s underline and emphasis)
(ACIM text, chapter 31, II para 6,lines 5-9; para 9, lines1-7)
A two-step dance to awakening is offered
to us every day, in the myriad forms relationship presents to us. It is not contained
in ‘romantic’ relations, but appears in professional encounters, family, friends,
interactions with nature and animals…How blessed and gifted we are everyday if
we can only be present, not holding expectations of the ‘other’, and consciously
able to view our many projections onto others…projections of fears and needs we
believe are so important. Could we see our ‘brother’ as ourself, walking the
same path to awakening, in the form he/she has chosen for this lifetime, desiring
what we want, freedom, happiness and peace? Perhaps by this shift in perception
an entire world could be changed… the way we live and the values we hold could
shift in favor of the gift of freedom and peace to all who walk the world with
us.
Blessings, peace and love on your journey!
May we be inspired as we travel through life by this Buddhist prayer
of loving-kindness:
May we dwell in the heart.
May we be free from
suffering;
May we be healed.
May we be filled with love.
May we be at peace.
May we be happy.
(1) A Course in Miracles (ACIM) originated thanks to two psychologists at
Columbia University in NYC in the mid 1960’s, but was authored by an “inner
voice” that dictated the material to a research scientist named Helen Schucman.
Abigail
DeSoto
Transformational Coach & Psychosynthesis Guide
www.inner-discovery.com
For more information on individual telephone coaching sessions and/or workshops in Relationships, Awakening to Self, the Sacred Feminine, and other personal development themes, please visit www.inner-discovery.com, or email: discovery.transformation@gmail.com
Transformational Coach & Psychosynthesis Guide
www.inner-discovery.com
For more information on individual telephone coaching sessions and/or workshops in Relationships, Awakening to Self, the Sacred Feminine, and other personal development themes, please visit www.inner-discovery.com, or email: discovery.transformation@gmail.com
author- L'Amour Déraisonné: Reclaiming Self, Transformational Teachings from Psychosynthesis and A Course in Miracles (2010) Psychosynthesis Press
For more information or to order::http://www.amazon.com/LAmour-Deraisonne-Reclaiming-Olivia-DeGage/dp/0961144475/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268434385&sr=8-1
